Tuesday 27 October 2009

Here and There

Somehow in my previous postings i neglected to mention my initial encounters with the girl whom became affectionately known only as "The Bitch". I'd seen her walking about Krabi Town and she immediately stood out from the crowd, not due to her incredibly pale completion, fair hair or hippy attire, all of which were eye catching in this climate but it was the fact she wore the most angry and aggressive face I've ever encountered that set her apart. A permanent scowl fixated and eyebrows constantly furrowed, a real treat. On the evening i went wandering looking for Mark i had a meal on the night market, if i'm ever by myself i tend to find my self sitting up with head set on swivel, not just so it makes me more approachable but i can see what's going on around me and if anyone's clearly looking for company. "The Bitch" walked past me and as per usual here was offered to sit down for food, she was a bit rude at first but after walking around elsewhere sat down on the table opposite me in my direction to look through the menu. I contemplated a "Hello" as i always at least acknowledge anybody by themself but something about her put me right off. Selecting from the menu is a relatively simple procedure here, the dishes are written in English and each dish has a corresponding number. You simply write the number down on a pad they give you and jobs done. Evidently this was too difficult a task for her and she preceded to talk to the Thai's like crap to hide her own misgivings. "EH", "I WANT THIS ONE" " DO.....YOU......UNDERSTAND ME?" " THIS ONE!?" "WHAAAT" "AH...YOU...WANT ME TO WRITE.....THIS....DOWN?" "ON THE PAPER YEAH?" Jesus christ, stupid and obnoxius much? Thankfully this wouldn't be the last time out paths crossed and she'd live up to her name again.
I should also mention another character i've met on my travels during Phi Phi but once again neglected to mention him and in doing so provided a great disservice to the man. His mane was Andre and he was a Russian....and he liked to get drunk, despite having the lowest tolerance for alcohol of any human on the planet. I first bumped into him as i was coming out of my room on the rock, i said the usual "Alright Mate?" and his reply was surprisingly along the lines of "when is everybody going out and getting facking drunk". Russians are always to the point. I informed him a few of us were going out and to the beach first for some drinks so he should come. Shortly after arriving he became visibly agitated at the lack of getting hammered so we suggested he get his own bucket, i went to the 7 eleven to get a cheap beer and could have only be gone a matter of fifteen minutes. My return was met with what can only really be described as a grope, that was a bit odd i thought. I could tell if he was gay or one of them drunks who like to hug and kiss everyone, surely he couldn't be that bad already? We spent the next five minutes trying to work out if he was hammered after just one bucket (a bucket with vodka and mixer) or just insane, he was probably a combination of both really. Even Ledley could handle his drink better than Andre and he's clearly allergic to alcohol. He then went on a weird rant/ conversation with himself and funnily enough has a lot of anger towards people from Sunderland of all places. "Why do they talk like this? they're so stupid?" Obviously i agreed and thankfully he didn't take it too bad when i informed him i was from fifteen minutes from there and had a very common dialect.
We then went onto the Irish bar to see Claire's DJ set and it was only about a five minute walk, during this time Andre managed to by and consume about twelve red bulls all while bouncing off every stall, shop, person and bar. He managed to keep it together for a brief moment in the bar before unleashing the most disturbing dance move in history. It didn't have a name but was a strange combo of "stirring the pot" while simultaneously doing hardcore porno grinding, it was horrific but genius. I had an early night and when i saw him the next day he had that look in his eyes of " i have no idea what i did last night and i'm in pain", i've had that one a lot too, not just after one bucket mind. It didn't deter him though as he was on it again that night, a group of us were at one of the beach bars when suddenly someone ran up and hoisted me up (no mean feat) I turned to find it was Andre looking what like can only be referred to as a neon pussycat. He had facepaint in the style of whiskers a button nose and various other characteristics a man should never bare. He then ran off to the beach chasing someone and that was the last i saw of him, i'm sure he'll bring chaos wherever he goes.
Back onto the travel front i checked out of my guest house in Krabi on the Friday, i went to a internet cafe to check for hostels on Railay as well as see my favourite warcrafters of course when i bumped into Mark again. He was going to Railay and Koh Phagnan too so it seemed stupid of me to be going a day ahead all the time and it would be cheaper too together so i decided to stay in Krabi another night and head off the next day.
I thought i'd been to both the night markets but discovered on the evening i'd managed to miss the main one so the extra night was worthwhile although a certain eye opener into other cultures. The market was your pretty usual affair, stalls of food, drink, candy floss, cheap knock off clothing, fair style games for prizes like toys, teddies and beer for the dads. However they were two stalls that set this apart from any market in Westoe or any other one in England for that matter. The first was an awful "pet shop" selling rabbits, squirrels, dogs, puppies and various other animals. The cages were so small that all the animals were too cramped to move, they're water supply was depleted and i'd be shocked if any of them actually got a proper feeding. It was on the whole awful but the most disturbing image was that of the old female shop owner casually rummaging through the overcrowded rabbits, picking up the dead ones and tossing them into a black bin liner. No discretion here and a rather tragic sight to see, thank god Holly wasn't here to see it at least i thought.
The second stall is probably best referred to as  "The Weapons Section". Crossbows, machetes, swords, bb guns, a randomly and amusingly placed baseball bat and various sprays were the name of the game here. The knives were very comprehensive but it was the can of the brilliantly titled "Hell Spray" that stood out for me. The stall certainly made you think twice about getting in any arguments i'll say that.
One of the images you're given here is that literally everything is up for negotiation, food, hotels taxi's....everything. Obviously there are always exceptions and we came across one of these while trying to get the longboat from Krabi to Railay. We were initially quoted 150 baht so obviously tried to get this down a bit on principal if nothing else. All i'll say is that whoever wrote in the Lonely Planet guidebook that Thai's will do anything to avoid confrontation and would rather walk away and save face is full of shit, they love an argument like anyone else. They refused to budge on the price and when Mark merely commented that it would be cheaper for us to jump on the bus and then get a longboat from elsewhere, one of them responded by angrily telling us to basically piss off and go there and get off his pier. Yeah, very laid back the Thais, clearly a union thing going on here was my thought. As we walked off a more reasonable member of the clan informed us that it was a set price by the Thai King and they could get locked up for charging lower or higher. Obviously this was a stretch at best but since everyone else was paying 150 or more we caved as long as the isiot got none of our cash.

The trip to Railay was rather uneventful until we pulled up to what can only be described as a muddy, dirty swamp of a beach known as east Railay. I just hoped the people who referred to Railay west as the nicer of the two where not understating this. The boat actually pulled up about 25 metres from the shore, so knee deep in water i had to negotiate may way to land with a ridiculously over sized backpack on, a bag round my neck and each step leaving my leg past ankle deep submerged in swampy sand. Any misjudgment or sway would result in nothing but bad times but thankfully i made it ashore safe. We found a cheap place to stop, dumped our nags and managed to bump into Claire of all people. We also discovered "The Bitch" was staying here. She greeted me with a "I KNOW YOU, I'VE SEEN YOU EVERYWHERE" i responded with "yeah at the night market" then she just marched off. Strange girl.
Thankfully Railay west wasn't  disappointing and was clearly much much nicer than its ugly sibling. We didn't get there till mid afternoon but the weather was till beautiful so i soaked up what i could and managed to witness an ethereal sunset to say the least. I can't say if the beach was a nice as Phi Phi but it was less crowded coupled with the fact that the tide was in during the day gave it some advantages. After hitting the beach we went back for food and surprisingly found the bitch in the "chillout area" conversing with another girl. Surely this girls never been chilled in her life? However the conversation didn't last five minutes as the girl exited only to return with a book to bury herself into, clearly the bitch didn't disappoint again. The bitch then stormed through our eating area with a face of thunder and started shouting at the staff. "WHAT'S THIS?" "I HAD TO PAY EXTRA?" YOU MUST TELL ME IN FUTURE" "OK WELL YOU'VE GOT TO TELL ME FROM NOW ON" "TELL ME OK?!" Any idiot can tell that some dishes come with rice and others you need to order seperate but this was missed on our girl. Clearly paying for the privilege at an extra fifty pence greatly upset her, she's obviously got a lot of issues when it comes to menus. Despite her horrid nature i actually found her quite interesting; if for nothing more than how can such a person be travelling by them self? Maybe she was in a group but got shunned leaving her bitter and agressive.....or maybe she's just a cow.

The next day was spent at a beach i can't recall the name of but it was again beautiful, half it was privately owned by a resort who's villas were priced at a rather nice 30,000baht a night. I'll stay with my 150 dumps thank you. The rest of the untouched beach was free to roam and was one of the nicest i've witnessed so far, the only slight was that they had kids constantly hassling you for drinks to keep that trend up. Haggling with what is basically child labor never sits well either. We stayed there all day and managed to witned the best sunset i've seen yet, the photos never do it justice.

Watched the United Liverpool game which greatly annoyed me. I have various grievances but Michael Carrick is possibly the most overrated player in history. He doesn't shoot never mind score, can't  pass forward, bottles tackles, never has his head up and doesn't break up play. What is his point? I feel another rant coming on.
We left Railay on the Monday to head back to Krabi and book a night bus and ferry to Koh Pahngan. The journey was fine although it baffled me how we got to suratthani in two hours but the journey from there to Phuket seemed to take about six previously. The ferry left at 11pm and despite not being able to stand fully in it, that was ok too. I managed to get a bit kip and arrived at Koh Phangan at 6am. As per usual we were greeted at the pier by the mass of charlatans trying to rip you off or take you to a hotel they get kick backs from, we managed to knock over half the price of a taxi off but still managed to feel robbed which is always terribly vexing. On arrival our accommodation was closed and we had a three hour wait till reception opened but this was expected. Thankfully they had a lounge area to kip in but we were soon disturbed by the loudest storm in history. I've seen heavy rain but the thunder literally felt and sounded like the sky being nuked. It's drizzled pretty much all day but the accommodation is nice and we got a good deal i think so all is still good. Six days and then it's fill moon madness.....

Friday 23 October 2009

You don't get this in Dear Old Blighty

Krabi town isn't too bad at all really; i'd have to say i could stay here for until Full Moon party easily if they had a beach but they don't so it's a mute point and onwards to Railay in a few days next. No rock climbing for me though, i know my limits when it comes to upper body strength.
Wednesday i managed to get up at quite a reasonable time for a recent change (well compared to Phi Phi, I was doing pretty great prior) and went for the usual wander. I'd not emailed home for over a week, blogged or put any photos up yet so I stopped by an internet cafe as i thought it was about time to rectify that. All i can is that judging from its proprietors, Matt Stone and Trey Parker are the most prominent social commentators of our time, they at least have the world of warcraft brigade down if nothing else. I initially thought it was just one guy working there so was releaved to find out it was actually two identical people splitting the long days and only came to this conclusion when i saw them together. They're both grossly overweight, have terrible skin, completely immobile, lethargic, sweaty and carbon copies of the guy depicted in the South Park warcraft episode, apart from that thoroughly nice chaps i must say. I can only tell them apart by the fact one of them offers you a banana on leaving. All they do for what must be at least 16 hour shifts is play warcraft constantly and record the time someone enters and then leaves. They clearly must be living their dream jobs though so fair play and i've just realized the hypocrisy of saying this coming from a man who's probably spent literally years of his life on Football Manager since 92. I've not even missed Football Manager actually, now that is high praise for this traveling lark i must say.


Anyhow i was in the cafe for a bit when i heard someone say "Alright Mate" in a slight Mancunian twang, turned about to be Mark from Phi Phi which was good to see and he was fresh off the boat with backpack and on the look out for the guest house i personally couldn't find (not that i looked). We managed to find it soon enough and as he went to sort his stuff out i went to get a bite to eat. I could've only walked five metres when i stumbled across a parade that turned out to be the Vegetarian festival, i'd read about this as it wasn't a parade of fruit and veg but just people sticking bars and the like through their faces. Yeah, i didn't catch the link either. The ages of the participants were shockingly varying and both genders took part, the only real constant was that everyone was dressed in white. The first bit of insanity was a guy lit about 2 metres worth of powerful firecrackers under the feet of two Thais who were carrying what i assumed to be some kind of Buddhist thing. They then preceded to do a combination of jumping in fear, dancing and feigning a fit as the firecrackers went off under their feet. This was actually incredibly tame for what was to come next. Streams and streams of people lined the street with various objects impaled through their faces. I saw swords, knives, bars, chains and even a guy with a gun through his face. What also appeared from the distance to look like someone cleaning their teeth was actually them just sticking a razor blade inside and attacking the gums and tongue, sending blood all over himself. England this was not. I went for dinner and returned to sit with Mark and a girl who was traveling  too. The three of us sat stupified as the parade got more extreme and torsos more crimson blood ridden. The most disturbing ones were probably just those storming up the street eyes wide and shaking their head in some form of trance, madness. Between the threes of us not even a suggestion could be raised to link vegetarianism to self mutilation so if anyone does know then please e mail me.
 
 
We went to the Night Market on the evening and i must say i've missed street stall food, it's clearly the way to go. So much cheaper, tastier and well; that all that matters round here. I intended to go to Railay on Thursday but going to stick around here a bit longer, it's so cheap, i've found a really nice hostel and there's no rush to get anywhere really. Thursday I went exploring all day and must've covered some ground, I found a really nice Temple and it was a beautiful day so walking with George Carlin and The Beatles on the iPod, cooking in the sun is a fine way to spend anyday. I especially agree with Carlin on the people who run the country, the major corporations and employers etc. These days they don't want people who are critically thinking, well educated and informed showing initiative but people who are "hard working" as they say. This to them means keep your mouth shut, be smart enough to fill a shelf or work a machine, but dumb enough to passively  accept lower rates of pay, more unsociable hours, no overtime and then they'll come after pensions and stuff like inheritance tax which is a disgrace already. Tax on money already taxed. Ah another rant over then. I think i'll stay here one or two more days then move on to Railay then come back via here to get the bus to Phagnan for full moon festivities. I must also add as a footnote i saw a huge fat man walking down the sreet bollock naked yesterday in an incredibly casual manner, the Thais were shocked by this so it's not a culture thing but he didn't "look" crazy. Obviously he had to be though? He did have a rugby player build so was maybe just after his socially acceptable homoeroticism fix but got lost from the group.

Wednesday 21 October 2009

Phi Phi, The Rock, The Beach, Jesus Boots, Alan Carr and Tatoos(nearly)



Well i have zero clue why i said it was pretty good staying at On On hostel from the Beach, it's clearly not as bad as depicted then but oh god it was a right hole. Every step anywhere in the building reverberated throughout and all i could hear for hours on end was the terrorizing sound of somebody playing table tennis but not being able to locate where it came from.  The walls were so thin too that i could hear some bloke clearly in pain next door, nobodies body is meant to be that audible is all i can say. Or make anything like the noises he did, thank god i never bumped into him....Anyhow I ended up having to travel to Patong again on the bus to pick a  camera up as i'd put it off for so long but i really needed to get one before Phi Phi. It wasn't too much of a bother and at least gave me the chance to take some photos that I couldn't while there prior. It was a canny nice day out to say the least, so a trip out wasn't too bad for 50 baht.
I think i spent the evening wandering the streets again looking for anywhere with more than 2 people inside. This is a much harder task then you'd think with all the bars and what not but it takes some work. Thankfully  after four days of looking i managed to come across a bar with 5 people in it.......playing Dancing in the Dark. I clearly knew this would be the place for me so stayed in there all night and attempted to craic on with some Russians with little success, they really are a harsh race. Those winter months must really give them that volatility that they just love to show everybody.  Everyone was sitting with Laptops out though, an all to common sight over here in the bars. Losers.
The bus came to pick me up at around 7am so didn't really manage to get much sleep the night before; my hatred of mornings and the bloke next door being in pain of a help either. I can't stress enough how load or how  anybodies bodily functions be just quite so audible........The ferry trip was rather quick and it was a rather stunning day to boot so my 100 percent none travel sickness rate on this trip has now extended to boats as well, just need to tick the trains off the list  next and then i'll be a normal person i think. This is the longest my Stomach has actually held up since it got ripped, including nights out. Good times.  Coming into any port, major street or town is a daunting task here as you just get harassed from all corners, so on arrival to Phi Phi i just kept the blinkers on and then headed straight for "The Rock". It was pretty quiet there so just headed straight to the amazing beach and finished off In Cold Blood. Perry Smith's rather blunt confession in it did manage to freak me out about my own mortality just a bit too much so i decided to get straight onto my usual routine of trying to check out every bar and place in town and see where everyone goes. I met a few people and managed to pick up a stalker for the rest of the week at this time too, my bag was doing my head in so i decided to head back to the rock and soon became very glad i did. There was now about 12 people there and got invited for the first of many drinks and the famed "buckets", i'd spent four days looking for a hostel where everyone hung out together so was pretty relieved to say the least. We spent most of the night at the rock with the old ipod dj on the go and then headed to tiger bar for the free buckets,  and then to the masses at the beach with the same 5 songs being blasted on  repeat, which soon all became another traditions. The next day was pretty much a similar affair, spending it at the beach and then at night the "Rock crew" seemed to expand at an exponential rate ,so it was impossible to keep track of who the hell everyone was. However after staying up to seven in the morning i think we managed to upset just about everybody in the dorm and a mass exodus followed the next day, thankfully i was in a single "room" so didn't have to deal with the various shenanigans.
I'd have probably spent the rest of the next day in bed but thankfully Mark woke me up banging on my door  and then Four of us went out on the long boat  for a bit of snorkeling and touring on a long boat which was a very overdue activity for myself. i'd really not done anything in comparison to others as for as "activities" go so it was a prettay good idea. We went to some good spots for a bit of a dive and snorkeling, as well as visiting the "perfect beach", monkey island (self explanatory) and vikings cave (I think they're sea gypsies in a cave or something). You can only really appreciate the place if you go there as it's all just so untouched, i doubt it'll be like that for much longer though. A grand day all and all, i'd have to say; i even managed to make a stealthy exit on the night to avoid buckets and thought it was about time i FINALLY called home. At this point i wrote in my journal i was planning on taking it easy for the next few nights.............Mega fail.
Friday was a day spent cooking at the beach till about 6 o clock and was pretty bloody good too, met a few more people who apparently where well aware of "The Rock people", it seemed we cultivated quite a reputation already. The night that followed pretty much did nothing but add to that to be honest, i'd imagine many buckets where had, we probably had chicken at the stop off and i'd imagine the immigration police where in again as the night came to a quick halt at 2 am. Obviously this wouldn't do so we decided to go on the hunt for another bar and the night descended into something straight out of Uni days in Newcastle. We managed to make our way to the other side of the village and then Joe somehow ended up playing a bit of guitar in a Tattoo parlour. We then found one of the oversized trolley and the events that followed where straight out of the post bulletproof at Northumbria play book. Mike ended up in the trolley, with the rest of us pushing him back to the other side of the village, much like back home where somebody would end up in a trolley getting pushed from the student union to the quayside, at that point someone would raise the idea of going for a trek, this usually meant walking 12 miles from Newcastle to South Shields so was always easily dismissed and blueline taxis would be called. Not the case here i'm afraid. We somehow thought it would be good to take the very strenuous, steep, pitch black trek to the viewpoint.....while drunk.....in barely a level of fitness to do it sober (except Joe being a RAF man, thats why i blamed it on him the next day)......oh and we were specifically going looking for monkeys. Terrible. After what seemed like forever of climbing incredibly steep small steps (which at one point had me using my hands as feet too since only about  one 12th of my feet where on the steps and i didn't have or phone or lighter to use as a mimic for a torch therefore i couldn't see Luke despite the fact he was only a foot in front of me, i definitely got "the fear") we decided to give up and go back home. Thank god. Those monkeys must've clearly heard us as the next day a group appeared next to everyone's bungalows clearly planning an ambush.
Hangovers were again slept off and the nights  activities were all booked around the football. It's also worth mentioning that by this time i'd picked two nicknames to add to the many already : "Alan Carr" and "Jesus Boots". The former because apparently we shame the same glasses (you could've probably thrown teeth in their too when i was 12...thank god my head grew to catch up with those goofy things) and the latter due to the fact i where rather offensive to some nike sandals rather then those Brazil flip flops. Well kids i don't do croc shoes, flip flops or anything else and they certainly don't do them in my size so you'll just have to learn to love the Jesus Boots. Anyhow, United won, Sunderland Won, Liverpool lost and as did Chelsea so a big night was clearly going to be on the horizon. I didn't quite realize how big mind......
We'd been discussing how easy it was to wake up with a tat here as there's countless parlors n a very dense area so on the way home drunk it can be very easy to stroll into one. Well that's just what happened to us on this night, Luke was already getting ready for his with cries of "Lancashire mate.......red rose" and "Friends prices, we're mates Bier so friend prices", there was also a crazy old Swedish guy dancing about for some reason with a "sex instructor" t shirt on....clearly in Thailand for the culture then......In no time i found myself in sat down, Tattoo picked out and t shirt rolled up ready to get to work, obviously since it was my frisrt one i went for a "sleeve" from my shoulder to my elbow, as you do. Thankfully it would have took about 20 hours and 30'000 baht. I had neither of these so i said i come back tomorrow like, i never did obviously.
Me, Mike and Luke where meant to be leaving the next day but that was a fail, i bumped into them later and Luke was in quite a bit pain from the tattoo and the booze and it was agreed we should definitely leave the next day as the money goes too quick here. Well they managed it but after another night out i decided i'd hide for a day and then leave on Tuesday. At least i got some good photos from the night out though so there was that at least. I did manage to leave my camera in the chicken place but thank god the Thais are an honest bunch as they kept it for me, they clearly enjoyed my "meat cleaver" antics. So yeah i bought me tickets for the ferry, said goodbye to Joe Matt, Mark, Amanda and everyone else left on the Island and moved to Krabi on the Tuesday. Initially i've dismissed it as Phuket like but there's much more going on here and a lot more to do. Think i'll stay for a few days then onto Railay.

One thing about Thailand though is although they want to increase Tourism they seem to love to have things to defer it. In Bangkok you have the hassling Tuk Tuks, Taxis, Suits, guesthouses and even people telling you off for not walking with purpose or a clear destination in mind. They must always plan specific routes here rather then sample the joys of wandering or "looking about" In Kata and Patong you have thai women(probably men too) hanging on the bars calling you in like your a sex pest, Berlusconi's defense against accusations of sleeping with escorts comes to mind a lot here "I'd never understand why a man would pay, it's the pursuit that the thrill" or at least let people show SOME value. Phi Phi's deterrent came in the form of bicycles and the flyer staff. It was lke running the gauntlet every night against the flyer people and despite the fact you avoid them and never take any.....you always wake up with millions in your pockets. As for their bikes? Baffling why you'd want one when its a 5 minute walk across the village and there's plenty of pedestrian traffic about. Not to mention you can only ride them painfully slow and the slight screams of "beep beep" don't really help anyone, i 'd have loved to give wanna them a clothesline from hell like, maybe the ones with about 4 people would've been the best haha. The massage places are more funny then annoying, anyone who's had a "maasssaaaaaaaaaage" or "handsome man" cry surely had to at least crack a smile.. I do love a rant.

Reading this post probably seems we just got drunk for a week, swam and sat on the Beach. Yes but what a place to do all three and i defy anyone to resist doing the same themselves, unless you're a Mormon or something.. Krabi, Veggie fest and self mutilation coming up next time (them not me).
 
 
 
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/album.php?aid=333509&id=747835223

Sunday 11 October 2009

Patong, Kata and the beginnings of Phuket Town

Patong proved to be just as i expected so only spent one night there. I can see why people love it but it's just a "lads holiday" place really and a victim of glottalization and mass tourism that seems to be creeping through here. The sights of McDonalds, KFC's, English bars and their bigg marketesque inhabitants aren't really what i wanted to see while traveling so just moved on.
Patong did however bring one great experience in the supermarket of all places. We were casually walking about while Hol got excited at the sight of various boxes and cartoon animals (you know you were haha) when a song started playing. All of a sudden the whole staff formed two long lines and preceded to do a dance routine that Steps and Bucks Fizz would've been proud of in their pomp. It was even better that the Thais just went on as usual while everyone else stopped to see what the hell was going on. I'll give Asda 6 months before they start doing it.....On the evening we sat and watched the insanity that is Bruno (hoping nobody would enter the common room during the especially insane bits) and that was it for patong. I saw Holly off onto the bus the next morning and then headed to the beaches of Kata myself.
After some initial difficulty finding it i stopped on the beach all day and it was just incredible. Lonely planet came up trumps once again for my accommodation at the lucky guesthouse and everyone is really nice. On the evenings it is a bit dead though.  I'd not eaten all day so decided to go for a few beers, a meal and see if there was anyone about. There's loads of bars but not many people so it's they're all empty making it hard to stop somewhere. Those that have a few are full of thai girls hollering at you across the street, always flattering but they're clearly on the prowl for their English sugar daddy haha. I soon realized to that i'm the only English person in Kata too, it's a massive Scandinavian resort which doesn't make it any easier and since the weather is poor ( I went from cooking in the sun to hiding in a bar for 3 hours from rain in 5 minutes) at the moment i decided to move on to Phuket town.
This started badly as i realized i left my phone in my room half way there, thankfully after minor panic the driver took me back and it was still there. I shan't be doing that again.....(i know it will like).
I've just had a look around here and theres loads of backpackers of various nationality and met some people already. This is much more better, i was enjoying sitting on the beach hammering through Capote's in cold Blood (great book) but the nights were just a bid too quiet and full of nutcase thai bargirls. I think ill buy a camera tomorrow and then go onto visit a national park and see what happens. I'm also staying in the hostel off the beach which is pretty bloody good as well.

Thursday 8 October 2009

Buses and Nepalese enemies.

Well we made it to Phuket eventually (Patong specifically) after what was not really the nicest of journey's really. We thought it would be quite alright to take the train down but quickly found that the line didn't actually run all down south, so that one went straight out of the window. Then we looked into flights which at 55 quid and one and half hours was not bad at all, this seemed like a cop out though. Not just cause 55 quid goes far here but it almost felt like cheating. Thus we decided it was best to go like proper hardcore travellers and get the cheap 18 hour night bus all the way to Phuket....... probably safe to say it wasn't the most enjoyable experience of all time but glad i did it.

It started off nearly disastrously when the rep didn't even look at our receipt and took us to completely the wrong bus area, thankfully after much confusion (and me getting visably angry(thank god Holly' laid a calming influence aha)) we managed to get onto the right bus with time to spare. What followed was about 11 hours of me trying to move into a comfortable position while knowing it was never ever going to happen and having to handle the seat in front being reclined within an inch of me face. It really is shite being 6ft3 on any long haul transport haha. After that and a one hour stop over we braved what can only be described as a ww2 like army barracks motor to another tourist depot and 11 of us crammed into a minibus fit for about 8 kids. I spent this part of the journey shaped like a pretzel and probably annoying Holl with my "Head Drops". Needless to say i went a bit delirious with the tiredness, crampness and everything else so i have no memory of the next 6 hours really. We got dropped off at Patong and i can tell it's not for me already. It's just like a typical Spanish resort plus some heavily westernized shopping areas which isn't exactly why i went travelling. Plus the sight of sleazy Brits with shit eating grins and thai brides is enough to repulse anyone. Thankfully there's tons of lovely beaches in a short area so going to move onto one of them tomorrow, hopefully the weather will change in the meantime! Plus i'll get some Capote reading done and lighten the bag.

Also i'll have to mention the little git i met on Khao San road, anyone who's been there knows of the "frog ladies" and you want suit? brigade. While i was waiting for Holly, i must've passed this one guy about 4 times and each time he asked if i want suit and hotel? He couldn't grasp the concept of looking about or waiting for someone so he kept pushing ti all the time. Apparently i must really need a suit for backpacking? Anyhow i was walking down the road 2 nights later and heard someone shouting "HEY MR YOU'RE A LIAR...YOU LIE BLAH BLAH" and it was the same little shit trying to grab my arm. It would seem "i don't want a hotel or suit" means "i'm leaving today" where he comes from so we argued for a bit till he started saying well "i must be the liar mr" and i just pissed off before i bought a frog and threw it off his head. I did love the fact it took me a whole 5 days to make an enemy haha, thankfully some other shop pusher took a shine to my bag and striking glasses and we had a good little craic on so balance was restored.

I have no idea where i'll end it up tomorrow but thats a good thing. Holly's off to see the gibbons so we'll be going our separate ways after a rather brilliant week but we both want to go off and do our own things, meet new people and have a varied time. She will be a miss mind but I'm staying in my first "dorm" tonight and everyone seems cool there too and that's what it's all about.

I really need to get a new camera mind.

Tuesday 6 October 2009

Bloody Good Times

I knew i'd be completely crap at keeping this up to date so think it's about time i wrote something. Been here a week now and the whole trip has just been unbeliaveablely good. The flight to Dubai was easily the best i've ever had (no motion sickness and no need for wrist bands....get me) and the stop over in Dubai wasn't as painful as i'd imagined either. I had nine hours to wait but quickly got chatting to a guy from Australia called Paul who seemed to have been everywhere....Africa, thailand, England, Dubai etc etc so was good to hear some places to check out where i'm going. Plus it was always nice to get cracking on with someone straight away rather then it becoming a "thing".
The flight onto bangkok was also spot on, was sat next to a lovely girl from Devon called Phillipa and she'd just spent four years in Paris teaching English but was visiting Thailand, Australia and New Zealand while she could. She also informed me you can only get a visa for visiting New Zealand up to 30 which was nice to know, i may be adding some flights i think. The fact that she had two more flights after me onto Sydney then finally Christchurch didn't make my own seem so terrible either and we had a nice chat on. Sitting next to someone who selects "Please Please Me" and "Harvest" for their listening is always a pleasure too. It was a bit mad saying goodbye in the airport though, many more of them to come i'd bet.
I managed to get onto my hotel ok http://www.princepalace.co.th/ but it had took 27 hours to get there with no sleep so just competely crashed out. The free upgrade was pretty good though and the 7ft by 7ft bed was just about the greatest thing i could possibly see at that point. I thought it would be a good idea to go for a walkabout the next day to scout the area out but quicky realised this was a mega fail. The hotel was surrounded by a complete dump and i didn't see one "western" face and couldn't help but think i had a "mug" sign on me head from the people approaching me, so clearly a taxi to Khoa San Road was easily the best option.
It took a few bars before i managed to get properly talking to some people and this included an akward moment in one bar where it was apparant bith of us wanted to speak but didn't know how to go about it. I soon found my self in a Thai acoustic roof bar where rousing english language songs were played  and met these two great girls from Holland, Esme and Katia;. www.katenes.waarbenjij.nu) We craicedon about "the frog sellers", how long i'd been away for and various other stuff before One drink quickly turned into many, many vodka shots, bottles of Tiger, Smoking Water Pipes and us completely owning the club (imaginitively titled "the club" so it was all good. Nice to see i brought a bit of home back with me though when i managed to upset a Thai guy greatly while literally just sitting with Katia. Thankfully the usual response did stay back in Newcastle. It was also funny to hear that everyone else had a "oh my god, what the fuck am i doing?" moment in the departure lounge and it wasn't just me that had a tiny freak out. Seems like everyone does from whom i've spoke to so far at least. Hopefully i can put some pics up from the night later, once they send them to me, but it was a great to have an awesome night straight away and meet some really cool people. Once it came to leave we all went to our seperate locations as i drunkingly stumbled onto a "Tuk Tuk". I could barely hold my body up so was literally hanging out the side but i made it back safely thankfully. However he dropped me off at a different entrance to the one i'd been using and i quickly got lost. After a few minutes of stumbling about a hotel worker found me and thankfully escorted me back to my room, i'm sure i was nothing but a joy to him haha....

I met with Holly (once again, i couldn't ask to meet anyone nicer) the next day and both of us were nursing mega hangovers, which is always nice when meeting someone for the first time. We walked about a bit while i carried my ridiculous oversized backpack, had a few drinks, while barely stopping talking enough to breath(Taxi silence has become a tradition mind) and it's been really good since.  Found a really nice cheap guesthouse called the Merry V in a good location and just hung out taking it easy for a few days making plans and slightly worrying about banks. It was less of a worry knowing that someone else couldn't withdraw cash but after a few e mails and calls we got it sorted. We've spent most of the time hanging round Khao San and both decided to brave out first street stall meal and this also doubled as my first tofu veggie meal. It turned out to be one of the "tastiest" meals i've ever had and at just 30 baht started the trend of us comparing every purchase to how many meals it wpuld get us. We made the trip to Patpong night market last night and that was an experience to say the least haha. I didn't know what to expect but it certainly didn't dissapoint. Only here you could have "ping pong shows"(it's ok for ladies too apparently haha), a street market, the redlight district, irish bars, KFC and dunkin donuts all in 2 minutes walking distance. The juxtaposition is mind blowing. It was a good night mind, even though Holly bloody beat me at pool which is always emasculating  haha and was definitely worth the visit. Jaws did drop mind even though i never got to see them "shoot banana".

We've just got back from the Grand Palace today and that was a whole different kind of experiance. I really don't think i could do it justice without photos so hopefully i can put some up when i steal Holly's, since my camera is broke.  There's So many different buildings of varying craft, size and shape all painstakingly constructed. ven one's that may be dismissed as "tacky" due to restoration are so intricately put together that you can't help but be impressed. The Emerald Buddha hall was a highlight and a pretty humbling in a room full of buddhists too. I'd never given it much thought to why Buddhist bow in the way they d but thankfully Holl informed me before i had the chance to offend. Thai's view the feet as the dirtiest part of the body and the head as the most sacred so kneel with their feet pointing away from the buddha and thir head towards it to show respect. Sitting otherwise can greatly offend and this is also why you see piles of shoes outside buildings as they view them to be dirty. We'd also heard stories of various scams but in real life we found them to be pretty feeble. It entailed a man informing us the palace was closed despite we were ten metres from it and in my eye line hundreds of people were streaming in. How stupid do people have to be to fall for this shit?  So yeah, nothing but good times so far (except the camera and the halifax) and i don't hink i could've met any nicer or coler people too. Think i'll be heading to Phuket tomorrow so will see what that brings. Amazing i bet.

Friday 2 October 2009

Life Lessons Volume #59

Arrived in Bangkok but i can't be arsed to write anything of note yet so i'll just share some advice i was given for my travels. I think they should bare me well....

"Don't leave your drink because that's how they got peoples kidneys"

"Watch what you're doing"

"Come up with a codeword for the internet in case you ever run into trouble, then post it onto the internet"

and finally "I know you've got a temper on you so whatever you do; count to ten ok?"

.....and i always thought i was laid back.