Wednesday 26 May 2010

Melbourne part two

The second week in Melbourne began with yet another trip down to Federation square and a visit to the Ian Potter Centre: National Gallery of Victoria which was very similar in content and aesthetics to that of the Baltic back home. The first floor was an exhibition of mostly Aboriginal art which while impressive was a bit heavy, i did enjoy the really bitter and angry stuff mind. Like the painting of an underfed Aboriginal knocking out a bible bashing white European or the "I'm not sorry" painting (A reference to the former Prime Ministers refusal to apologize for the Lost Generation and overall treatment of the Aboriginal people). The other exhibitions were fairly remarkable but yet dull for my tastes, amazing paintings, portraits, sculptures and works of art but I have zero interest in the traditional and much prefer the fucked up stiff or Warholesque surrealism. The highlight was the VCE schools exhibit displaying selections of Art, sculptures, fashion design and photography from the best of school leavers in the state. The level of quality for such an age was astounding, leaving me feeling slightly uncreative but then again as I always say at times like this, Paul Weller had already dissolved the Jam years ago by the time he was my age, he'd already done it. I am writing "something" though, not sure what but it's something at least. True story.




The evening was pent with a trip to the Cinema (Sorry Claire, it was either that or upset people by getting drunk) to see Kick Ass.  I didn't really fancy it but had heard nothing but good things and well, I wasn't exactly spoilt for choice. Very glad i did see it as it was one of the best films i'd seen in a long time; tremendous script, self aware, no bullshit, suitable violence and had a vibe like back in the eighties before everything became PG in fear of the Christian right. It does seem that Marc Croft has taken over from Sean Beans role as 'go to British actor when you need a villain' with him in this, Sherlock Holmes and Robin Hood in quick succession. He'll always be Tosker to me from 'our Friends In The North though, that's another series I really need to see again. Also somebody needs to have a serious word with Nic Cage, what the fuck is going on with his fucked up wig/hair/ botox forehead combination, the man looks horrific. Anyhow yes, go see Kick-Ass.

From there I visited the National Gallery of Victoria and rather enjoyed it as standard. The place had quite the collections; the first floor was mainly paintings, coffins, and sculptures from the Egyptians and Aztec's. It's quite astounding how well they've been preserved but even more so that you're standing in front of something that was painted literally thousands of years ago, in another continent too. One small piece on the floor did massively freak me out, it was a video projection of a woman ageing and water coming from her, the room was really sparse and was all to represent death. I felt very much like david st hubbins at Graceland in Spinal Tap, "it's too much fucking perspective". The second floor was a bizarre collection of Chinese art, Japanese tea sets (yes) and European paintings; the latter just made me think of  Tony Sopranos painting with the horse unfortunately. The contemporary stuff on the third floor was much more my thing, one selection was entitled 'Timelines' with a simple enough premise, the photographer took some head shots in the late eighties and then went back to the same subjects twenty years later to recreate the shots. The subtle differences were quite startling but the last one was a bit harrowing, each person had their two shots in a frame but the last one was just the man in the eighties and then a blank wall for now showing obviously he'd died, it made me feel awful for some reason. The rest of the stuff was a series of abstract images, the avant garde and post modern art which i rather like, pleasant surprise to find a Warhol original amongst it all too.
I also came across a socialist/LGBT rally at the state library which was campaigning for equal rights for all and mainly gay marriage to be lawful. One of the speakers seemed to me to be just some English guy who was old and needed a shave, he was very eloquent and well spoken though. I found out the next day it was only Sir Ian Mckellen, i was twelve feet away at the time, i really am shockingly blind. It was exactly the same when i found out Paul McCartney played with Neil Young through the papers despite being at the gig myself! You can just about make Gandalf out in the photo too




Back on the wander I walked through the Domain where once again you came across things that would just have to be fenced off in England or ruined. I wasn't overtly impressed with St Kilda really, yes it's another nice beach, big fucking deal. I've realized since coming away i'm much more a city person and i'd rather be out at midnight under the city lights with the deviants than at the beach during the day. I knew that before i left though having not been on South Shield's beach for over a decade despite living opposite it. True story.
Not much to report really as i'm keeping off the drink and a 'low profile' as Leona likes to say, people keep getting thrown out of the Hostel anyway for drinking in their rooms and i just can't afford a session at the bar so have been far too well behaved, I have lost a stone since i've left Sydney which is never a bad thing. Paula is astounded i'm out from 10am till midnight every single day, "i piss about" doesn't really cover my activities. I did go to the MCG to see an AFL game though with Geelong vs Collingwood and 88000 there, i still think the sports  a joke though. The hostel is mental , i walked into the sight of beds being tipped over, bongos on the go and a bin tucked into Jason's bed not too long ago. Nobodies claimed it yet which makes me think it was Skinner, just the thing he'd do when pissed up. I have Perth in a week and then it'll be back home which is a very odd proposition so that means only three more travel blogs, thank god though as they've become so hard to write and an utter chore. I'm shocked i've managed to keep them up but glad i have and people seem too like them. So yes next it's Perth, then Rock N Roll Thursdays greatest Hits and the final epilogue.







Song for the day : Doves - Black and White Town


Saturday 22 May 2010

West Coast Bound- Melbourne

It was my first journey on the Greyhound a nice enough 12 hour journey through Canberra on toward Melbourne, not much in between it must be said. The only odd occurrence was this weird skinny guy in front of me stripped to his boxers and treat the bus like his own bed, he may have been the biggest geek I've ever seen too, almost like a white Jewish version of erkal. Once dropped off I didn't have the slightest idea to where I was so thought I'd just as well go to the nearest Hungry Jacks for breakfast and a consult with my Lonely Planet guidebook to see whatever hostels were about and so at least i'd have an idea of where I was at. Unfortunately i didn't quite get that done straight away as of course i had to encounter a complete weirdo first. I'd clocked him while queuing thanks to his odd demeanor and the strange bag he was carrying so I thought i'd best keep away from that one; of course he had to just sit right next to me. Despite the fact i was eating while having my head buried in my book he deemed it utterly necessary to start bombarding me with random information and questions. "Where are you from?", "How Long are you here for?", "how much money do you have?", "What's a pint?"....ah go away please, it's only half eight in the morning and i can't be dealing with this....I was picking up major psycho warnings so decided it be best to munch breakfast and then head off on foot with the book looking for street names.



I'm easily pleased when it comes to Hostels, all i want is clean linen, reasonable prices and a good atmosphere so when I heard a place called 'Bev and Micks' was a measly 100 dollars a week, then i knew i had to have a gander at least. This was easier said then done of course with not having a clue where i was, it didn't really help when my hostel was really a bar disguised as one and with my complete lack of peripheral vision, I even ended up walking past it twice before finally getting in. Everyone was really friendly there with most people being long termers which i much prefer, the attached bar though could easily be a disaster zone for me with the hostel having a very Bedlam like atmosphere but I've been very well behaved really. Too behaved some may say.



Instantly I very much liked Melbourne, Sydney is a little more spread out whereas here it's a lot more dense and just a bit more 'my thing' you could say. Plenty of music venues, great shops, bars, art venues, culture and the amount of sport is unreal too: Rod Laver Arena, MCG, Etihad Stadium, AAMI Park, Olympic Park and many more all a stones throw away from each other. I spent the first few days just wandering about trying to get my bearings and avoiding the drink, both were very successful. Most people in my room were here indefinitely annd were cool. A mad girl from somewhere in Europe really wanted me to do medical trials with her and i'm stupid enough to do it but she disappeared one day, can't say i'm surprised. She seemed the type to go missing.

Before flying onto New Zealand, Cara 'Dave' Murphy was in town so i said i'd meet up with her for a drink on the evening, a simple task you'd think? Well you'd be very wrong on this occasion certainly. Firstly she didn't have a clue where her hostel was, or what side of the river she happened to be on, so I had to go to McDonald's to use google maps and find out where the Nomads were. According to this they were too in the area, one on Spencer street and another on the south side of Melbourne with my Lonely planet concurring the latter. She said it wasn't the one on Spencer street so I headed down to the other with google saying it would take a bout an hour to walk, Cara said this was a load of crap though as her bus stopped off at the other one and it wasn't that far, this becomes important later. With google maps on my iPhone as my guide I headed off on the road and reached the river for about 9:20 (I left the hostel at 8ish), I started to get an eery feeling as the area wasn't built up at all and quite dark, it seemed an odd place for there to be any hostels. My iPhone was saying I was standing right at the Nomads but i couldn't find it anywhere, Cara was no help at all on the phone either, laughing at me when i asked where the fuck i was and if she was winding me up. After about half an hour of looking I came to the realisation that the Nomads had obviously relocated and in the meantime been replaced by of all things another 'Bev and Micks', how ironic. ..So I headed to another McDonalds to google Nomads, it came up with A'Beckett as the street name not York street and this turned out to be about 3 minutes from my hostel, I'd been out for an hour and a half and it was an hours walk back. I wanted to weep, Dave loved it all obviously barely being able to speak on the phone thanks to tears of laughter. On the way back I just had to stop off at another McDonalds to get some comfort food, of course being me I met some complete tools there in the form of an over the top, obese, camp emo who shouted at me "Isn't this place crazy....do you come here much?".....I was in no mood for this. He then got really offended by a tramp screaming at nobody specific "GET A JOB!....DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD I STRUGGLE JUST TO SURVIVE?", erm not very much by your fat arse and face mate. On the way back I had more struggles, the iPhone died and Cara's one bit of help was "There's a global gossip sticker in the window", so when i saw one and went in I really wasn't surprised that it was the wrong one and she wasn't there, this was the story of my night. I had to demand she came out and pretty much just followed the sound of her laughing to find her completely pissing herself at me. It was now eleven o 'clock, i should've got there at ten past fucking eight. Nobody was worth this effort for a drink and i made sure she understood this. So we finally had a pint while she tried to contain her laughter at it all while hassling me to go to New Zealand with her, Matt, Lucy and Aled. At least i could take solace in that Melbourne looks great at night and i got to see a bit of the south bank.
One of the highlights of Melbourne (and to be hones everywhere) was going to the Australian Centre for the Moving Image at Federation Square. The centre was a history of everything to do with the technoligial advance of moving images from film, television, mobile phones, video games and everything in between. I really could have spent hours in there (and did), going round and round like an idiot. There was just so much cool stuff to see, a camera that produced the bullet Matrix effect for you, image and light manipulation exhibits, history of TV, global broadcasting, and my favourite probably being the video game section. They had spectrums, commodore 64s, ataris, nes's, Lemmings and even Super Mario bros 3. I'll never forget the day i got that as an early Christmas present from my Nana and therefore hadit before everyone else. The whole estate must have come round my house to watch me play buit of course nobody else was alloewed to touch it at all having being an arsehole all my life it seems. I was a bit dissapointed to be here too early for the Tim Burton exhibition but the current one was quite worth seeing too. It was from a film called Max and May which uses the same stop motion technique with plasticine characters to film that Aardman studios (Wallace and Gromit) use. Stuff like this just astounds me, the process is just so painstakingly long and everythins so intricate. It baffles me how anyone can have the patience but I guess that's why the do so well, they genuinely love doing it.

The first weekend was a quiet one but I was on the hunt to watch the football if possible but could only find it on at the Casino, I was just about to give up when i bumped into Jason and a few others so followed them to a bar not too far form the hostel. Sadly we walked in to the sight of 40 Chelsea fans jumping around as they'd already took the lead, my stomach turned intantly. I fucking hate the majority of cockneys and Chelsea fans are right near the top too so after Caldwell got sent off and Lampard scored the subsequent penalty, I just stormed off after sculling my drink. The title was over and they'd be fewer places i'd rather not be. All in al it was good first week here and I do love the city, i really could see myself living here sometime....not just yet mind....

Song for the Day - Metronomy : A thing for Me

Sunday 16 May 2010

The Sydney Sessions - Back to Carnage at The Cross


It was a rather surreal experience stepping back out to Kings Cross at ten am of all times, i'm not sure that i'd even seen it so early before. I felt even stranger on entering Brado's again, a lot of people had left since my initial departure but it seemed my return coincided with what could be coined 'reunion week'. Louise had returned a few days prior, Andrew was back on Sunday, as was Pernille, Mel and Guy the Monday and a few mores faces appeared as the week went on, so I certainly timed my return well. Forest and Laurence greeted me in reception to to the standard exchange of"how was it?", "did you have fun?", "what was the boat like?" etc etc. The hostel was pretty dead with it being pre 12pm but the faces who were around I didn't recognise at all, it would become apparent that much had changed in just the five weeks i'd left.




I moved back into the old stomping ground of 3C to find the whole room still in bed, Paul and Lee jumped up to greet me with the rest looking on as if to say "Who the fuck is this guy barging in?", i think you'll find i'm a pretty big deal in this place i'll have you know....suresuresure. As per usual Paul was determined to drag me to a bar despite it not even being eleven yet, he never takes no for an answer so i cut a deal with him being that if he let me go get food and shut up then i'd join him. Lee and Owen soon joined us at the Vegas hotel while Paul had apparently taking up gambling a lot since I left, "i was bored with everyone gone, gotta do something" was his reasoning. He was pretty good at it too, not that he seemed to have a clue what he's doing, he just get's lucky everywhere it seems, the night before he one a load of food to feed two families at the Empire just for buying a beer. With Paul's winnings we decided to get a steak and after visiting four places that was advertising them we finally managed to get a feed at the Sugarmill, as well as run into some awful people at the same time. Well, it is Kings Cross after all.




I can't recall what the game being played on the evening was, United vs Villa maybe? I do know that pretty much the whole hostel was watching it and not going out, despite Miss Scott's best efforts for me to rally the troops since it was her friends birthday. I did get to see her briefly and Claire this is rich coming from me but you were "wasted", I quite enjoyed the role reversal for a change haha. In the end the lure of going out proved too much for me and Paul so we went for a few drinks and a few games of pool. As well as send drunken texts of course. We had a bit chat to a couple of Aussie blokes and a 21 year old girl who looked about 37, they were all nice enough but one of them seemed a but "unhinged" you could say. He kept going on about this hotel in coffs harbour and was determined to "burn it" for some reason, he kept talking as if we knew what he was on about too making it more unsettling. I didn't last all night thanks to having been up for two days now and drinking all this one so crashed out completely at 3am.


The next day i was awoken to what seemed like an already half-cut Andrew slapping me in the face while i slept in bed; haven been awoken I went downstairs to only be greeted by the hostel owners drinking and pushing a bottle in my hand. It was 12:15 and i'd been up five minutes, now i recalled why i left kings cross in the first place. It was Anzac day here which is much the same as remembering Sunday back home except instead of poppies being everywhere people here seem to use it as an excuse to drink, not that we need one after all. I was so tired after the coast trio that even after ten hours of drinking i was still stone cold sober, thankfully Andrew was not and so fucked that he provided all the entertainment you could ever need. And of course it was nice to have my fucking French sister Louise around for some "tope-las", that never gets old.
In my previous Sydney days i never really had a camera (coupled with rarely seeing daylight) so I decided to capture as much as the city as possible given my new prominence for activity. I used the free time to catch up on writing too and joined Forest on the harbour bridge, Opera House, botanical gardens walk, which turned out to be a really good day. Much was learned. Unfortunately this all played hell with my right ankle, flip-flops obviously aren't enough support for it after tearing it's ligaments awhile back, it swelled up pretty bad and i actually felt the need to take painkillers. I think i've only done that one ten times in my life so that shows you what i was dealing with.



Regarding the nights was a rather strange matter, since i'd left the atmosphere in the place had just dived. The banter was poor and now for the first time I found the place quite cliquey, nobody gave you the time of day, ignored your greetings and on nights out people went out in small groups rather then together.The free BBQ was a prime example, Me, Lee, Darryl, Lena and Louise all tried our best to make the most of it but it just wasn't happening. Most people ran off at half eight and what was left to view verged on the embarrassing just to be there. Party games for prizes are always the norm here but now they had Peter the sex pest ascting as MC, I can't say enough bad things about the man, just an awful creature. At one point i think about five guys in the hostel were just waiting for him to say anything they could latch onto to give him a slap, he was clearly an idiot too. The first game was true or false and his first question was "Does a Koala bear get stoned on leaves?" Well it's not a bear for starters but it went downhill from there with him getting the answers even wrong, after that it was the sex position round and my enthusiasm ad been killed. I didn't even make it to the sugarmill for the free drinks there such was the predicament. Thank god we had a DVD player in the room.




The rest of the week was a bit quiet in comparison to days gone by but i was happy with that, i have no idea how i managed to live this lifestyle for so long and survive, well i barely was is more the point. Thanks to Uni work I never got to see Claire but there's always December in London and we did manage to fit in one final Rock N Roll Thursday (that subject deserves its own entry) as well as Lee got a camp haircut which is always a good way to spend a night i reckon. I manage to annoy everyone again by going missing on my last night just as i did previously. This time i started the day watching Mayweather vs Mosley and then jopined Darryl to watch Chelsea pretty much win the league against the worst Liverpool side since the Roy Evans era. I don't like the nights attention being on me it seems, like i enjoy other peoples birthdays but hate my own, two weeks today for the next one too. It was a rather disturbing sight to walk in the room after to find Andrew passed out on the floor, playing with his nipples, he really is a strange man. I can't really remember what i did on the last day, I think i tried to pack my bag for a bout five hours before one of Ellie's motivation texts to "do something!" sorted that one out. I'd sure get more done if she was around to hassle me all the time. With all done it was just left to bid farewell and i headed off to catch the 8pm bus down to Melbourne...



Song For The Day - Broken Social Scene : Stars and Sons






Friday 14 May 2010

The East Coast Sessions - Mission Beach/Crocodiles)/ Getting Spiked in Cairns(Allegedly)

17. Mission Beach

This should be a quick one....the whole point of heading to Mission Beach was to do a skydive and then white water rafting the next day but if the weather in Townsville was anything to go by then neither were really going to happen. Before arriving we managed to stop off at yet another place so dull that i can't even remember its name was or what it's claim to fame was. Something to do with an old Post Office I believe, that amazing. I was incredibly cranky though, my iPhone was dead and too many people were annoying me, it was one of them days, especially this arrogant Canadian tit who thought his opinion matched that of the whole bus and he was some type of elected speaker. No you're just a tit mate. Thankfully an Australian film called Cossie provided a suitable distraction and i forget the drivers name which was a shame as he was one of the better informative ones.


Coincidentally given the run in with Aboriginals he was a young offenders outreach worker and therefore dealt a lot with Aboriginals and gave us a bit of history regarding their culture. Evidently white Europeans fucked over most of the world but Aboriginals probably suffered worse then most with the whole lost generation and what not. Obviously i'm not educated enough to talk about the situation properly but only one out of fifty complete a year in education and that can't be good, he did seem optimistic though that programs and funding were producing positive results. They're quite the remarkable people really, they were 10,000 years ahead of the rest of the world and their primitive technology methods are incredibly complicated taking years to learn. Unfortunately we just see the shit but i did meet the nicest two women the other day here, she even offered to buy my dinner. Very nice.


Katie and Charlotte were getting on the bus as i was departing, informing me best of luck with the rain as it had been here for a few days and was showing no sign of leaving. I soon found out my sky-dive was cancelled but the people at Scotty's backpackers couldn't be any nicer really, I must admit I did feel uncomfortable in the shuttle being driven by a bunch of white London boys, earrings glistening while the rap is blasting and it's all "innit bruv". This is not The North. As for the hostel I was left with little to do so just hung around and caught up with a Swedish girl i'd met in Byron Bay and had a strange wander on the long empty beach. Thankfully rather then waste time here I managed to cancel my rafting and get on the next bus to Cairns, I could always do the activities elsewhere and didn't feel like i could afford to waste any days now, cash was going down quick.

18. Croc Farm

The white boy gangster's took me to the transit centre to jump on the bus but it was running rather late and with showing no signs of turning up they decided to take me to Absolute backpackers instead where we instantly found the bus and the sight of the driver flapping all over the shop. Keano was his name and it seemed they'd cut out their first stop so were throwing a rather quick BBQ for lunch before getting back on the road. I didn't see any familiar faces at first (except a group of two cockney couples who were...well stuck up arseholes) so was more than happy when Aled wandered in as i wasn't up for the standard backpacker introductory conversations again this far into the trip. He seemed to be as releaved as me being a fellow bitter type and was in quite the anti-social mood it seems. Our bus driver was still being hectic, he had those eyes where you just know he could snap at any point and kept racing about like a nonce. Speaking of nonces, here's one of my favorite British TV moments. Amazing.



Before reaching Cairns we stopped at a 'Croc Farm', I was initially timid to the idea of forking over more cash, especially with already having been to Australia Zoo but i thought what the hell, sure beats hanging around park benches for an hour. I soon became glad I did though as it turned out to be a good laugh, the workers set the tone quickly bringing a baby Crocodile on board, scaring the shit out of all those who didn't realise it's mouth was taped up. The tour was pretty rapid but worth it, we got to see a few croc's getting a feed, right in front of us while learning a bit about them too, I had zero clue they didn't eat food for energy as they get that off the Sun, they clearly just do it for the banter. From there we moved onto feeding a group of Kangaroos where I did just get a little bit freaked out.... I was feeding a rather greedy one when all of a sudden I heard this rather strange noise, it was almost like someone chocking and receiving the Heimlich maneuver....turns out it was just Aled making a video and providing commentary in Welsh. It's not a language, it's just a noise. The rest of the tour involved bringing out a Dingo (the girls were a lot more impressed at this than allowable) and then he demonstrated with a Cassowary how it could kick the crap out of you if it wanted, unfortunately cars have been doing the shit licking to them leaving the endangered. Back at reception we were given the chance to hold a selection of reptiles and lizards, i'm not a fan at all. This can't be overstated but i manned up, held the Crocodile, let the snake coil round me and was suitably scared all the way thanks. At least I can say I've done, that's the only reason why anyone does these things.
Back to the bus to Cairns (or possibly when it was to Mission Beach this came up) we got a little history on the area and the pest that is the cane toad. I've mentioned them before so shan't go on but it was interesting to find out how difficult they are to kill and have evolved twice since being introduced to Australia(that just doesn't happen). If you drive over them from behind they actually spit their insides out(organs included) on the road and then spend the next few hours sucking them back up. Lovely.



19. Cairns

We pulled into Cairns/Gilligan's backpackers at about half six and i was pleasantly surprised at how cheap it was for such a big place with en-suites to boot. The only initial draw back was that check-n was somehow longer than even Magnums, a feat i thought was entirely not possible. However while we waited it became apparent just how many people were here since it was the last stop up the coast, almost everyone i'd met was around somewhere with more to come in the next few days.

As standard for these stops we had drinks vouchers and a table booked for the night with free jugs included, sop we quickly dumped our backpacks, got showered and then hit the bar. The night ahead turned out to be a rather random one indeed, it wasn't that we were trying to get drunk, we just kind of really did. A more plausible explanation that both Aled and I subscribe to is that we were clearly spiked, obviously somebody took a fancy to us at some point in the night. As for the night itself, it started off with us heading to the bar when i got a surprising text off Tom who was just round the corner when i thought he was in Thailand, so off i went to say hello and we'd all meet up later. This must have took all of a minute but on my return Aled had gone, now i know why Matt, Lucy and Cara refer to him as 'Disappearing Aled'. Who knows where he got off too but he thankfully turned up eventually.
As we drunk on we couldn't help but wonder where on earth the rest of our bus was and this so called table so we went on the wander, low and behold we found not just everyone on an outside table but jugs on the go and a few extra people to add insult. Our absence was probably a short one but we certainly made amends taking more than our fair share of drinks, Aled at this point also decided to introduce his 'Social Hand Grenades' that he'd picked up off some Canadians that seemed to enjoy making rather disturbing comments to people and he decided to take the baton on himself. To be fair though his initial victims were awful people, the first girl barged her way onto the table and was met with a "Have you always been that fat?", she took it well. Unfortunately the second girl didn't but she was an awful person as well as being a fat mess, some quick quotes: "Why aren't you darker?". "Where did you find him?", "Why you doing that?" blah blah blah, fuck off cow. We discussed our mutual loathing of rahs and then ended up on the wander seeing Kerry, Charlotte and Katie. Ellie joined us from her hostel and this is when it gets blurry so we must've just got spiked at this point (no really). According to Ellie I kept dissapearing and was being you could say'difficult' when i walked her back to the bus stop, thankfully she knew how to deal with me in this state. The rest of the night is just random images, being on the dance floor with the girls and Tom, talking shit with the Norwich boys and throwing various shapes. From my drunken texts i made it to bed at 2:45 but i have zero clue how i managed to get in. Firstly i didn't have a keycard so someone must've let me in and more baffling was how i got up the stairs at all. To get through the doors you needed to show your key-card and the doorman were very strict about this one. Matt had such bother a few days later that he had to show passports, check in details and even patronisingly spell his name. God knows what i did, i probably made so little sense that they just gave up on me and let me through.
The next day could be summed up in I was hungover and probably ate crap. I believe Ellie had her dive that morning and then I met up with her after being hounded to 'do something'. On the evening Aled and I met her and some friends in the Rhino Bar for 'Power hour'. It's simple enough really, you pay ten dollars for as many drinks you want between ten and eleven. All good but like most backpacker joints it was a bit sleazy with the guy on the Mic being a snake in the grass and games were to be had. Ellie jumped up but her face was a picture as she walked off once she found out what it entailed. Basically each person had to dance to a particular style of music; skanky hip-hop, country, Irish, techno and male stripper music being the categories. The French girl song the ghetto booty dancing really got involved, it was quite the site to watch. The night wasn't a particular long one with what had went before it and what was to come so we had a few more pints at O'Briens and called it a night.
Despite being rough the next morning Ellie bullied me into getting up and going to Macca's, I can't say it cured my hangover but thank god I was there to keep her on track. With all the trouble in Bangkok she was worried and was trying to get straight to Hanoi, she'd have to get to Sydney for flights first though and who knows if she would've id I didn't sort out the printing of tickets for her. I left her for one minute too and she managed to get her credit card stuck in the machine so I sorted that, bloody useless woman (Haha you know i miss getting hassled really and of course i'm far worse). I then headed back to the hostel for the much anticipated reunion with Matt, Lucy and Cara(Dave).
Their Oz bus had a table booked for the Woolshed rather than Gilligan's so we thought we'd join them there and pretend we were on their bus to get free drink and cheap food. Nothing we hadn't done before but it all didn't quite go to plan this time. We were going in blind so i deliberately let Aled go in first and it proved a good move as i witnessed an amazing exchange:
Aled:"Yeah we're with the oz bus", random bloke "Yeah you with the bus?", "Yeah we got in today", "So yo were on my bus?", "Yeah", "well what's my name?"(we've clearly been caught out), "oh i don't know i was asleep most of it", "Where did i pick you up from then?", "Magnums on mission beach" (It's on Airlie beach and we're dying now), "I think you're trying it on aren't you?", "look mate i don't want 20 questions i'll pay", "you've been caught out i think", "look if you're going to do 20 questions", "shall we ask the people up there if you were on the bus and then i'll give you the cash back later?", "No it doesn't matter we'll just pay to get in"... woman on door"It's free, it's just for cheaper food", haha oh dear. For what it's worth I was of zero help or support at all. So we went up to join Lucy and Cara with our tails between our legs and slagged him off. In fairness he soon came over, said he had to do that in front of the staff and we'd get some drinks. We got more than those on the bus it turned out.



We headed downstairs after they'd finished their grub and Matt joined us as things quickly picked up on the shot front. Ellie joined us briefly before heading off to catch an early flight but it was nice to see her to bid farewell. Things got messy quickly, Aled was loving the shot's even necking one with Tabasco sauce and a chilli in it swallowed whole. The three of us then went in the triple decker ABC shots : Absinthe, Barcadi one2one and i don't even want to know what else. This brought Aled to twitch mode and throw some hand grenades again, "How did you find your first period?" a random blonde got asked, oh no. I went to the toilet where i Saw two bouncers pointing at Aled declaring "That's the one" before he was soon ejected, he was determined to finish that drink though. Now once again we entered hazy territory, Jacob appeared out of nowhere and i think i kept wandering off for food but failing each time. I vaguely remember being in the Irish bar before hitting a club but I have no recollection of where, what it was called or how I got back. It got worse the next day when i discovered I'd somehow go on the net off my face, the damage wasn't too bad but Claire did receive the weird text that just said "White flight", who knows what goes through my mind at these moments.


The next day was another spent hanging and while the others provided support to Aled for his bungee jump I just munched a Hungry Jacks, just as well I did as this meant i couldn't take part in the "McChallange" event on their return. The premise was simple, Matt and Aled had to finish a family meal each, this entailed something like 2 Big macs, 2 Cheeseburgers, 6 Chicken nuggets, 4 fries and 4 drinks. What followed was one of the funniest things i've ever witnessed, they both went through what was quite an array of emotions, delirium, manic laughter, nausea, drunkenness and it was all genius. Interesting to see the different tactics they took to take on the challenge but the main highlight was probably Aled's war with his final Big Mac. He sized it up time and time again but couldn't bring himself to finish it off and in the end they both failed with Matt putting in the best effort but he did act the strangest afterwards. Just wandering about talking shite while Aled was clearly not a well man. From there Dave and Lucy tried to get us all involved in ring of fire but with a 4am bus to catch i wisely resisted.









I didn't leave myself much time to catch my flight but thankfully the shuttle got there quickly. Once there I was a bit worried about finding the desk having lost all my glasses but that didn't prove a problem, the only near hazard was me just about forgetting the Swiss army knife in my 'man bag' but i manage to remember just in time. The three hour flight was okay enough but in all the flights i'd been on this was easily the smallest craft, about 60 seats so it was quite the turbulent ride. With that all over all that was left eas to jump on the train and i was soon setting out back in The Cross...



Song For The Day - The Horrors: Who Can Say?

Wednesday 5 May 2010

The East Coast Sessions - Magnetic/Townsville

 15. Magnetic Island

Jumped on the 7:30am pick up with the latest driver being a chap named "Beaver", i think all these characters are just University Student Union Entertainment managers who never want to settle down and just want to spend as long as possible getting pissed up, trying it on with their passengers. It's all quite disturbing really but i guess they say they're having fun, if that's the case though they should just get themselves over to Asia and they'd be in their element.
The bus drove for about an hour before reaching a 'town' called Bowen; this place was famous for two things: tropical fruit, thanks to the climate here and the fact the film 'Australia' had been shot here. They'd let the latter get to their heads it seems, a 'Bowenwood' sign had been put up with a complete lack of irony and when the town learned that the films premiere was to be held in Darwin, they all signed  a petition in protest. It took a simple response of "Er, mate you need to have an actual Cinema to hold a fiml premiere". Yeah, Queenslanders certainly hold up their reputation as being a bit 'different'.
Afew hours later we arrived in the 'Dry Tropics' of Australia (320 days of sunshine) and I jumped on the Ferry to head to a spot called Magnetic Island; so named as Captain Cook's compass went a bit haywire while trying to navigate round it. Much as I had predicted earlier, I ended up yet again staying at a Base Hostel thanks to my laziness. This one wasn't like the rest thankfully and was very nicely situated on the beach with shacks replacing the prison cells of other Bases. It wouldn't be Base though if it wasn't overpriced on everything from the beer to the net to the dorms, there's no shops around either so they really love to monopolize those prices.

My first day was spent struggling online to get my flight home sorted and just hearing nothing back; I'm adding travel companies to banks and phone shops on the list of things I can't abide (although since I have found out my agent had broke her hand, hence the silence. Still that's what automated e-mails are for). For the first time since leaving Sydney there were no familiar faces on the bus, so it was nice to hear someone shout my name from the picnic table, however thanks to my blindness i didn't have a clue who it was until I was about two feet away from the table to find it was Katie and Charlotte; I really must make some strange faces when i'm doing that. The evening was spent with a group of us having a few drinks down on the Beach (me on the Diet Coke) and then I relatively early hit the sack. Well, tried to at least but the Swedish girl above me kept making incredibly odd noises and getting up all the time, this is to be expected in hostels but these ones were just a bit disturbing. I awoke in the night to what sounded like a bird being caught in the room, manically flapping about for an exit and yelping.....turns out it was just the girl. She jumped off the bunk, ran out the room at 4am and it all just came to stop, then she came back three minutes later. All very, very strange.
The next day was greeted with an early rise and after an good old English breakfast, Charlotte asked if I would like to join them on one of the bush walks so I thought I may as well with my lack of plans. We were meant to leave at 11:30, then 12:00 and then finally just about managed to get on the one o' clock bus. Katie and Charlotte had come up the coast together but as the day unfolded it became apparant that the other four lads weren't just from the same area but they were all friends from back home and a couple was even amongst us, I don't know how i missed that one the night before. I knew within a second they were all Rugby boys too, they really do stick out incredibly and you know my thoughts with me having dabbled in it before.
The walk up to the Forts took a few hours and had some Rather nice views over looking the bays, ocean and surrounding hills. Townsville was used as the last line of defense for Australia in World War 2 so the Island was perfect for lookout spots, forts and gun placements. The gun placements were very much the same to the one found in South Shields but the view was just a little bit bet dare i say. Unfortunately we didn't come across any Koalas but did have a meeting with a Death Adder, I'm sure they live up to their reputation thanks to the potency of their venom but visually they were a bit shit, more like a worm. After a brief stop at horseshoe bay with me getting stranded from the rest thanks to fish and chips I headed home.
I then finally managed to get my flight back sorted or should I say me Da did, it's a right pain trying to get anything done on the phone here due to the cash and time difference but it would appear that STA travel are full of shit thanks to the ease my we managed to get it sorted back home. Thirty pound to change a flight had suddenly become eighty five as well.

Yet another night of nothingness was had but thankfully the next day i met a rather odd girl (Joke!) called Ellie who was actually capable of speaking and could hold a conversation, i was a bit stupefied when she later told me she thought i was French initially. I get this a lot, French and Irish, all the time. We had a bit craic on and it turned out she'd went o Northumbria so we talked about all the bars back home etc when suddenly my camera started working after being out of action for days. There wasn't much here so I thought i may as well take the opportunity to get photos of the place, so headed off to do as many walks as possible and be snap happy. The day before no koalas were to be seen, so i'm sure the girls would love to hear it took me all of 3 minutes to find some in the wild this time round but no snakes this day, I also got to see a bit more of Horseshoe bay (not that there was a lot) and once again headed back.

Ellie invited me for drinks with her and Jared (whom i met briefly at Magnums) and we started straight away hitting ring of fire hard before being joined by a rather odd guy and then moving onto to play giant Jenga. Thankfully this was a lot more fun then that awful night at Leeds festival where me and Stev went to the "chill out tent" at 5 am and wanted to die, the bass nearly broke my chest bone and 7ft Jenga was not what i needed to seea t that point. We were not chilled out. The weird guy randomly wandered off while some dick spilt Jared's drink and didn't get him another, i hate that shit. In the end it was Ellie's smugness that cost her ar losing Jenga and the three of us randomly ended up in a hammock before roping in another two people to drink with us, a southern yank girl and a German girl this time. Despite the twelve o'clock finish time at the bar a good night was had, we all did pretty well, Jared and I discussed our mutual love for Hall and Oates and Chromeo but unfortunately the DJ didn't share it.
A s standard since Airle beach i was hanging quite a bit the next day but thankfully there was no Oz bus to catch so i could just laze about(as well as get basically being used as a punch bag by Ellie) before getting the Ferry back to Townsville Jared left in the morning and then after seeing Ellie off on the Greyhound i arrived in the "City" for aboiut three.

16. Townsville

Now they say Townsville is the capitol of North Queensland with a population of 150,00 with a large of that being military thanks to its history. Now i'm sure this is true on some days but everyone literally must have been on leave as there was nobody at all about. Noone walking the streets, the shops were shut and they weren't even any cars on the road, it was a very strange sight almost lie 28 days later and ever so slightly unsettling.

I didn't have a reservation anywhere but soon stumbled across a place called Reef HQ that Charlotte and Katie recommended so checked in there. Checking in was quite the experience mind, the man in front of me was one of those ppompous, southern english types who walks about with a stick up his arse, literally nothing at the hostel was to his satisfaction at all. In fairness the lady on reception was quite a character herself, she really didn't have a clue what she was doing and you just couldn't help but feel sorry for her patheticness. I don't think she was even computer literate so it was no surprise when she muttered "eeee, you can tell I only work one day a week can't you?".

I had just one night here so thought i'd may as well do the usual and see what was on offer, I didn't expect much thanks to my initial thoughts but probably got less than that really. The only places open was a subway and what appeared to be far too many bars and Rugby League Clubs for such a dead place. As you can tell from my photo's there's not a lot going on, Hugh E. cracked me up for some reason at least. As I walked down the street some Aboriginals cornered me asking for money and what not, it really is a shame how many of them end up like that given their rich culture but it happens all over the world i guess and i get more hassle off whites during the day in Sydney asking for cash really. You just don't see the other side of Aboriginals as a backpacker which is a shame. Wandering around aimlessly pretty much sums up the rest of my day as there was fuck all to do, thankfully there was plenty of fun round the corner in the last of my east coast trip....


Son for the Day : The Rolling Stones - The Streets of Love



This would have been massive in another time.