The Lost Weekend: Perth - The Last Stop in The Land Down Under

I rather enjoyed my time in Melbourne, as I've said before it really is an incredibly livable place and a very vibrant city. I can't say I was bored at any point in my time there and would definitely add on the list of places in Australia I'd like to come back too. on the other hand i am rather bored of hostel living after a near ten month stretch of living in dorms; things that never bothered me previously certainly do now. bev and micks hostel was a bit fucked up really, ninety percent of the people there never left the hostel grounds and since they drank all night you could rarely go in the room since somebody was always sleeping. it would be hypocritical of me to complain about people coming in pissed at 5am waking everyone up given my own track record but when it's people coming in there who don't stay in the room, then i get pissed off. Randoms kept appearing shouting, playing bongo's and on more than one occasion some prick actually woke me when i was asleep at 7am as it was 'five dollar pints and you're being boring'...ok mate, fuck off and come back when it's 2 dollar pints and you've done a quarter of what i have and then we'll talk. two Lancashire birds staying in the room called Lucy and Paula were nice enough but rough as fuck it must be said. hairdryers out at dawn, no consideration for others, god knows what Lucy did during the night but she was a noisy cow. she slept above me and twice managed to wake me in the morning by standing on my head (yes i know it's hard not to miss harr) while getting off the bunk, the second time she very nearly slit my eyelid with her big toe, she's a big fucka as well. so yes the thought of having my own bed, room, and bathroom again is very appetizing now, especially after hearing Paula say "use me phone on me" while she was getting rattled again. classy bird.
moving onto Perth i booked my shuttle for 7:30pm pick up to the airport, these things always get my rather paranoid as they're just always really late and i didn't have any credit to phone up the company if they failed to show. I'd booked with a company called jetbus so obviously i was keeping a lookout for a shuttle with their logo, the hostel was on a crossroads too so i made sure i waited on the corner to have both waves of traffic covered. at 8pm panic began to sit in so i tried ringing them off my British phone and just as i was dialing a yellow taxi bus beeped me from the traffic lights calling me over, as i jumped in he told me "I've driven past 3 times"....um yeah you're meant to actually stop the car mate to do pick ups. he was a pleasant enough bloke though and i assume he was Indian since he was very keen to discuss the 20/20 world cup and England's victory on discovering my nationality. from there the flight to Perth was easy enough ans i landed down at about 1am local time (a two hours behind from Melbourne).
when it comes to backpacking i firmly believe in planning as least as possible and just going with the flow so i never bothered to book a hostel that night. my initial idea was to just hang out at a mcdonalds so i didn't have to pay rent for a night but i soon realized what a crap idea that one was so got dropped off at the yha at about 2:30am in the blind hope they'd have a night reception. luckily for me they did have just that but the bloke informed me "sorry, there's no male dorms mate"...that's fine with me, i've not stayed in a 'male dorm' yet but it was apparent i'd not be staying there on that night. he was very helpful though much to my shock given he's an Aussie and directed me down the road to another place as well as few numbers to ring, so i soon got checked in at grand central and a bed was sweet relief.
I've often talked about how i much prefer to live/drink in 'shitholes' as they always provide a better atmosphere, banter and cooler people. this is not the case with grand central backpackers. it's not even a backpackers for starters as there's hardly any travelers there, it's full of crackheads, Australians (something you never see in hostels), drifters, Chinese and other weirdos who generally use it as a home.the atmosphere is not good at all and the people even less so. i did enjoy reading the absolutely awful reviews online after i'd already payed up for my own stay. a guy in my room called Chris may take the title as biggest oddball i've met since leaving, he's an incredibly creepy young man it must be said. as soon as i met him i started blabbering on as if i'd known him for years, talking about his 'girl' and all manner of nonsense, within the first three minutes of talking he produced a photo of said girl to show me and i displayed no reaction whatsoever. i do think know though that there's something wrong with him, learning difficulties or something like that as he never shuts up about crap and doesn't really understand how to act socially. one example would be he woke me up the other night coming in, no big deal but then he wanted to discuss the waking of me up and started going anout how he's broke up with his girl as if i'd give a shit. not a conversation for 3am. its awful to say but he really reminds me of that south park episode when cartman pretends to be a bit gimp to get into the special olympics, that;s his look. i did come in last night to see him packing up as he'd 'been asked to move into his own room for some reason'...i knew the reason but i'm not that much of an arsehole to tell him. Another hostel incident was somebody getting slashed with a bottle in an argument that had spilled into the stree. From my room I could here two groups screaming at each other and when i looked out the window i was met by the sight of the hurling glass bottles at each other as two police cars pulled up. also they did was basically tell them to stop it even as they continued to kick off, that's it. They're a joke over here the pigs, all out of shape and useless, you'd be in a riot van within two seconds if that happened back in england. So you could say i've been trying to limit my time in the hostel to just sleeping and getting showered. Reception is a great return to that Aussie way though, i asked the man on reception what the code for the door to get in was and he screamed at me 'yeah that's cause it's changes every day bruv'. what you thinking i'm asking for it for you cunt?

As for Perth itself, well it's shit too. Probably harsh a bit and caused by the fact i've just had such a good time everywhere else. There's nothing really here though except a few nice shops, a park and the botanical gardens. The city is lovely to walk through but the nightlife non existent, it seems the locals spend all the time in the many net cafes playing online team games and taking it all very very seriously, I did enjoy a nice wander along the river and then back up through the Botanical Gardens and King's park where it seems weddings are being held at a constant. I did manage to surprisingly find an arts centre here and was rather enjoying looking round the art gallery till i literally got 'told off' like a child for taking photos. It seems everything is 'copyrighted', that annoyed the shit out of me, I thought the whole point of this stuff was you want to share it and have as many people see it as possible. Whats' the point of a sculpture or painting if it lays dormant in the attic? A photo of the mona lisa is hardly going to deter people from wanting to see the original when getting an opportunity. I actually considered asking for my donation back and i'm so bitter i'll not mention any of the artists names cause they're getting no free promotion off me baby. That'll teach the capitilist bastards. suresuresure.
Todays my last full day in Australia so people ask how are you going to spend it? Well it's a bank holiday in WA so every where's bloody shut. Perth is the first place over here that has gangs of hooligans running about and loitering like charvers basically, a group of them had a brawl and were hassling me for money for the bus. I felt like i was back home already and was transported right back to Metroland where there's always a lack of bus fare problem. I am looking forward to going home tomorrow though...world cups, glastonbury, court dates, wedding and a lot more. Summer 2010 is going to be a good one. I can feel it.