I should also mention another character i've met on my travels during Phi Phi but once again neglected to mention him and in doing so provided a great disservice to the man. His mane was Andre and he was a Russian....and he liked to get drunk, despite having the lowest tolerance for alcohol of any human on the planet. I first bumped into him as i was coming out of my room on the rock, i said the usual "Alright Mate?" and his reply was surprisingly along the lines of "when is everybody going out and getting facking drunk". Russians are always to the point. I informed him a few of us were going out and to the beach first for some drinks so he should come. Shortly after arriving he became visibly agitated at the lack of getting hammered so we suggested he get his own bucket, i went to the 7 eleven to get a cheap beer and could have only be gone a matter of fifteen minutes. My return was met with what can only really be described as a grope, that was a bit odd i thought. I could tell if he was gay or one of them drunks who like to hug and kiss everyone, surely he couldn't be that bad already? We spent the next five minutes trying to work out if he was hammered after just one bucket (a bucket with vodka and mixer) or just insane, he was probably a combination of both really. Even Ledley could handle his drink better than Andre and he's clearly allergic to alcohol. He then went on a weird rant/ conversation with himself and funnily enough has a lot of anger towards people from Sunderland of all places. "Why do they talk like this? they're so stupid?" Obviously i agreed and thankfully he didn't take it too bad when i informed him i was from fifteen minutes from there and had a very common dialect.
We then went onto the Irish bar to see Claire's DJ set and it was only about a five minute walk, during this time Andre managed to by and consume about twelve red bulls all while bouncing off every stall, shop, person and bar. He managed to keep it together for a brief moment in the bar before unleashing the most disturbing dance move in history. It didn't have a name but was a strange combo of "stirring the pot" while simultaneously doing hardcore porno grinding, it was horrific but genius. I had an early night and when i saw him the next day he had that look in his eyes of " i have no idea what i did last night and i'm in pain", i've had that one a lot too, not just after one bucket mind. It didn't deter him though as he was on it again that night, a group of us were at one of the beach bars when suddenly someone ran up and hoisted me up (no mean feat) I turned to find it was Andre looking what like can only be referred to as a neon pussycat. He had facepaint in the style of whiskers a button nose and various other characteristics a man should never bare. He then ran off to the beach chasing someone and that was the last i saw of him, i'm sure he'll bring chaos wherever he goes.
Back onto the travel front i checked out of my guest house in Krabi on the Friday, i went to a internet cafe to check for hostels on Railay as well as see my favourite warcrafters of course when i bumped into Mark again. He was going to Railay and Koh Phagnan too so it seemed stupid of me to be going a day ahead all the time and it would be cheaper too together so i decided to stay in Krabi another night and head off the next day.
I thought i'd been to both the night markets but discovered on the evening i'd managed to miss the main one so the extra night was worthwhile although a certain eye opener into other cultures. The market was your pretty usual affair, stalls of food, drink, candy floss, cheap knock off clothing, fair style games for prizes like toys, teddies and beer for the dads. However they were two stalls that set this apart from any market in Westoe or any other one in England for that matter. The first was an awful "pet shop" selling rabbits, squirrels, dogs, puppies and various other animals. The cages were so small that all the animals were too cramped to move, they're water supply was depleted and i'd be shocked if any of them actually got a proper feeding. It was on the whole awful but the most disturbing image was that of the old female shop owner casually rummaging through the overcrowded rabbits, picking up the dead ones and tossing them into a black bin liner. No discretion here and a rather tragic sight to see, thank god Holly wasn't here to see it at least i thought.
The second stall is probably best referred to as "The Weapons Section". Crossbows, machetes, swords, bb guns, a randomly and amusingly placed baseball bat and various sprays were the name of the game here. The knives were very comprehensive but it was the can of the brilliantly titled "Hell Spray" that stood out for me. The stall certainly made you think twice about getting in any arguments i'll say that.
One of the images you're given here is that literally everything is up for negotiation, food, hotels taxi's....everything. Obviously there are always exceptions and we came across one of these while trying to get the longboat from Krabi to Railay. We were initially quoted 150 baht so obviously tried to get this down a bit on principal if nothing else. All i'll say is that whoever wrote in the Lonely Planet guidebook that Thai's will do anything to avoid confrontation and would rather walk away and save face is full of shit, they love an argument like anyone else. They refused to budge on the price and when Mark merely commented that it would be cheaper for us to jump on the bus and then get a longboat from elsewhere, one of them responded by angrily telling us to basically piss off and go there and get off his pier. Yeah, very laid back the Thais, clearly a union thing going on here was my thought. As we walked off a more reasonable member of the clan informed us that it was a set price by the Thai King and they could get locked up for charging lower or higher. Obviously this was a stretch at best but since everyone else was paying 150 or more we caved as long as the isiot got none of our cash.
The trip to Railay was rather uneventful until we pulled up to what can only be described as a muddy, dirty swamp of a beach known as east Railay. I just hoped the people who referred to Railay west as the nicer of the two where not understating this. The boat actually pulled up about 25 metres from the shore, so knee deep in water i had to negotiate may way to land with a ridiculously over sized backpack on, a bag round my neck and each step leaving my leg past ankle deep submerged in swampy sand. Any misjudgment or sway would result in nothing but bad times but thankfully i made it ashore safe. We found a cheap place to stop, dumped our nags and managed to bump into Claire of all people. We also discovered "The Bitch" was staying here. She greeted me with a "I KNOW YOU, I'VE SEEN YOU EVERYWHERE" i responded with "yeah at the night market" then she just marched off. Strange girl.
Thankfully Railay west wasn't disappointing and was clearly much much nicer than its ugly sibling. We didn't get there till mid afternoon but the weather was till beautiful so i soaked up what i could and managed to witness an ethereal sunset to say the least. I can't say if the beach was a nice as Phi Phi but it was less crowded coupled with the fact that the tide was in during the day gave it some advantages. After hitting the beach we went back for food and surprisingly found the bitch in the "chillout area" conversing with another girl. Surely this girls never been chilled in her life? However the conversation didn't last five minutes as the girl exited only to return with a book to bury herself into, clearly the bitch didn't disappoint again. The bitch then stormed through our eating area with a face of thunder and started shouting at the staff. "WHAT'S THIS?" "I HAD TO PAY EXTRA?" YOU MUST TELL ME IN FUTURE" "OK WELL YOU'VE GOT TO TELL ME FROM NOW ON" "TELL ME OK?!" Any idiot can tell that some dishes come with rice and others you need to order seperate but this was missed on our girl. Clearly paying for the privilege at an extra fifty pence greatly upset her, she's obviously got a lot of issues when it comes to menus. Despite her horrid nature i actually found her quite interesting; if for nothing more than how can such a person be travelling by them self? Maybe she was in a group but got shunned leaving her bitter and agressive.....or maybe she's just a cow.
The next day was spent at a beach i can't recall the name of but it was again beautiful, half it was privately owned by a resort who's villas were priced at a rather nice 30,000baht a night. I'll stay with my 150 dumps thank you. The rest of the untouched beach was free to roam and was one of the nicest i've witnessed so far, the only slight was that they had kids constantly hassling you for drinks to keep that trend up. Haggling with what is basically child labor never sits well either. We stayed there all day and managed to witned the best sunset i've seen yet, the photos never do it justice.
Watched the United Liverpool game which greatly annoyed me. I have various grievances but Michael Carrick is possibly the most overrated player in history. He doesn't shoot never mind score, can't pass forward, bottles tackles, never has his head up and doesn't break up play. What is his point? I feel another rant coming on.
We left Railay on the Monday to head back to Krabi and book a night bus and ferry to Koh Pahngan. The journey was fine although it baffled me how we got to suratthani in two hours but the journey from there to Phuket seemed to take about six previously. The ferry left at 11pm and despite not being able to stand fully in it, that was ok too. I managed to get a bit kip and arrived at Koh Phangan at 6am. As per usual we were greeted at the pier by the mass of charlatans trying to rip you off or take you to a hotel they get kick backs from, we managed to knock over half the price of a taxi off but still managed to feel robbed which is always terribly vexing. On arrival our accommodation was closed and we had a three hour wait till reception opened but this was expected. Thankfully they had a lounge area to kip in but we were soon disturbed by the loudest storm in history. I've seen heavy rain but the thunder literally felt and sounded like the sky being nuked. It's drizzled pretty much all day but the accommodation is nice and we got a good deal i think so all is still good. Six days and then it's fill moon madness.....
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