With not being a drunk for an incredible length of two and a half weeks, i was left pining like never before for a proper night out. So needless to say, I was delighted when our driver Binks pointed out all the various bars, clubs and hostels as well as letting us know we had a table booked for Beaches with free drinks in tow, yessa. It was clear to see that Airlie Beach was set up for the sole purpose of having backpackers staying there so Tom and I made the instant decision to 'get involved' as soon as possible and smash it later on.
Tom checked into a place down the road named Beaches while I myself was at a rather busy Hostel called Magnums with the girls from our bus. I was so happy straight away, 8 TV's with a different sport on each, a bar, nightclub, drink area and all for just 18 bucks a night; ah how I'd grown to miss the insanity of Bedlam with the party atmosphere and here it was once again. I did soon discover how they managed to get away with the 18 dollar fee when it became apparent you basically had to pay fora the use of a pillow and linen...I can go without thanks.
We had a stroll around town before heading down to join the rest of the bus (this also included walking in on two buffed up Yanls "mid workout" which was rather funny, you'd never catch an englishman doing that). The majority of the group made an appearance which always makes for a good banter, as usual there was a catch with regards to the free drink and cheap food; you had to buy a drink to get a voucher and the 'pot' it camein looked to be about a quarter of a pint.Wank food too. A subway and goon would've done the job. There was a girl at the table that i've neglected to mention previously although i had intended too, she'd been on my bus about four times but i'd yet to speak to her at all thanks to her resemblance to one of the Muppets courtesy of her eyebrows. Initially she reminded me of Bert of Bert and Ernie fame but i'm sure there's another green one with a mono brow, Tom referred to her as "D-Ball" thanks to her resemblance to the Dodgeball character.Yes, we are bastards.
After the meal the free drinks finally turned up with us getting a jug for every two people, so that wasn't too bad, with that not lasting long we headed off to do it like true backpackers with a case of goon at Magnums. The swedes in our room turned out to be Tom's friends from Fraser Island, we then saw Charlotte, Korina, Laura, Katie and Kerry so headed upstairs for drinking games and to meet the second Bill and Will of the trip. The games didn't last long before their roommates returned so everybody scattered with most hitting the bars but we still had goon to drink so got on that. Tom was getting talking to one of the Swedish girls from the bus while i got attacked by a Swede called Oscar who was off his face, he was a big time "Man United and Hammarby" fan and couldn't quite believe when i mentioned Kennedy Bakircioglu, how could i forget one of Football Managers greatest ever bargain signings though? I soon joined the rest of them quickly being asked by one of the Swedish girls "why are you playing hard to get?. Erm, what? I've never spoke to you before and you look a bit like a gypsy. Swedes are mad, quiet sober and never speak to anyone else except their own but that soon changes with a bit of drink in them. Soon we were well on our way after nearly 2 litres of goon so we picked up more stragglers and found the girls at beaches again. The night soon gets blurry from here on in, we all headed across the road to Momma Africa's where thankfully it was actually not so bad for a change with everyone getting on it. As standard drunken texts were sent, had a few shenanigans and then the bouncer tried to throw me out for what seems to be just going to the toilet. A simple conversation convinced him i was sober so i was allowed to stay but it turn out Tom got thrown out for exactly the same thing. As in Kings Cross fashion, i stumbled to McDonald's where i found om eating about three meals, even Skinner would be proud of that one in a single day never mind a single sitting.
I woke up the next day somehow in bed fully clothed and not the prettiest of sights at all, I didn't know what was going on at all. The Swedes in the room even informed Tom that they "felt sick at the sight of me laying with my pants hanging off my arse (i've lost my belt) and struggling to breath". Ah yes, I do love it. However i did find myself having a hangover for the first time in months and it was not good, i was hanging like never before. I'd randomly bumped into Leona the night before, saying i'd join her in going to the lagoon but when she came to my room i still didn't know what was happening and the only phrase i could mutter was "I'm fucked man". She was more concerned about why there was coins stuck to me and rightfully didn't hang about. I still had to check in for my boat trip which was the last thing i wanted really, i must've been sick about 5 times on the way and the girl in reception even commented on me looking like death. I was definitely out of practice and an old school nap was most certainly the only way to go.
As ever that sorted me out so we checked out the rather nice lagoon and spend the rest of the night just chilling before the early start the next day and off to the Whitsunday Islands.
13.Whitsunday Islands
My bus picked me up at 8:30, with us heading straight off to Abel Port Marina and to meet the other 13 people on my trip Everyone seemed cool and it was a nice mix of nationalities, ages and 'types; they were two quiet swiss girls, Jan from Scotland, North Americans Jackie, Jazz and Samantha and a selection of Dutch, Kiwis, English and Aussies. The boat we would be commandeering was name the Southern Cross(like most things here) and it would be safe to say we didn't get off to the best of starts by going round the harbour in circles for ten minutes thanks to steering problems. It was sorted quickly enough though so we were on our way and it would the only problem we'd have over the next few days - it was allegedly caused by some kind of 'Banana curse on boats'. SureSureSure.
With regards to the weather we simply just couldn't have asked for it to be better at all, blazing sun, no wind or waves and it was all just perfectly serene. The surrounding landscape was incredible with the clear waters, surrounding islands and it wasn't long before we were dropping anchor off Blue Pearl Bay at Haymon Island for our first spot of snorkeling the reef. We all had to jump into stinger suits on account of the stingers and jellyfish, so once again just like surf camp i resembled a man in a gimp suit jumping in the water. Snorkeling way back in Koh Phi Phi was easily one of the most enjoyable experiences of Thailand but this was something all together different, the coral reef is a thing to see by itself but when you couple that with all the ridiculous amounts of fish and colorful plant life then it really becomes something to see. Yet again another experience that you're just not going to get back home. From there we jumped back on the boat to move on to a spot named Wrasse Bay for some grade A grub and a bit more of the same, this time the Coral was a little bit more shallow though so a bit more difficult to swim over. Once back on the boat one of the girls pointed out that my foot was covered in blood and i'd not even realized, i really do have the thinnest of blood it seems as it was only a small nick on the top of my foot. After cleaning that up the boat moved on leisurely to a lovely point on Border Island called Cateran Bay to drop anchor for the night and to feast on nachos and curry. It's impossible for me to articulate what it's like to be sat on a boat in a plice like that with the sun going down over the islands and what seems like a million stars right above your head, it sounds cheesy but you could just sit out there for days.
After the now standard early start we sailed down to Tongue Bay to the famous swirling sands of White haven beach which apparently is number two in the world only behind one from the Seychelles. I'd seen all the photos of the place from everyone who'd done the east coast themselves but is in an entirely different thing actually being there yourself, I thought Lake McKenzie was something but this just had the beating of that one and a many other. It was good to bump into some familiar faces there too. After soaking up the sun, playing a bit cricket and doing our best to take it all in we jumped back on the boat and moved onto Dumbbell Island for more snorkeling. The visibility at this place was not the best but it was nice going through the trenches like coral even if it was stinger central, i must admit i shit myself about 6 times with jellyfish suddenly appearing about 3 inches from my face. On the subject of crap I really must relay a lovely story Jackie told me, apparently Callum was avoiding jellyfish in the water just as i was emptying the toilet, so as he swam in the opposite direction he met my 'dirty water'. Ah how i wish i bore witness to that one, I had wondered why he looked so uncomfortable in the water too when i jumped off the boat later, now i know.
Up to now we'd just been using the engine to get forward due to the lack of wind so it was nice to get the sails up for just a bit in the afternoon as we very slowly sailed on seeing dolphins, turtle heads and yet another ethereal sunset on the horizon. I hear must people go on about getting smashed on the Whitsundays and Fraser but I don't know why you'd want to in a place like that, or maybe i just gotten soft since leaving the cross but i do know one thing. Me being on that boat off my face is a disaster just waiting to happen and death would be highly likely, i'd probably jump in the sea, fall over the deck or just knock myself out on one of the sails.
The last day was really just like putting the cherry on top of everything we'd done so far. Snorkeling in the morning again and i managed to come with in cm's of swimming into a massive Jellyfish, thank god Mick was there to alert me to that one or i'd probably have done a Francois and have to be airlifted to hospital. Next stop after was Longford Island that had a long strip of sand rising from the sea up to the bay and was possibly the hottest thing I've ever walked across, it was like steaming hot coal. Despite the strong current it was a really nice spot with plenty of stingrays, lemon sharks and turtles. I wasn't that arsed when Amy pointed out the turtles but that soon changed when i swam up to them, they were about 4 foot long and just glided around care free in the water, a very cool sight. One final stop was had for us to act like kids and jump off the boat into the water like idiots and then we casually sailed back into Airlie beach with the job well and truly done.
14. Airlie Beach again
That wasn't quite the end of the events though as we had a table booked for the evening at Beaches, it was nice to bump into twelve different people I'd met up the coast just on the way back from the harbour too.
Leona, the Oz girls, London guys, Norwich boys and my "zoo mate". It's always cool. The night was a good one with our half a table making more noise then all the others put together, I hadn't been drinking on the boat so Marshall seemed to make it his mission to get me smashed but I just couldn't, it's odd but about twice a year no matter how much drink i just stay sober but still have the after affects the next day. I must've had five jugs to myself, seven bottles and they even made me neck four schooners in less than a minute but it all just bloated me. Good laugh mind and we all moved on to a place called Phoenix bar from there where everyone seemed to scatter off and the night dwindled down quickly so after a short stop at Momma Africa's I headed back to the hostel to send the standard drunk text.
I felt rough again the next day so just hung about the Lagoon and saw Leona, the cut from the coral had now suddenly turned into a massive club foot i noticed. Not a good look. The evening was a rather quiet one with my new roommates(whom i met while we all stumbled in talking nonsense) Cara (Dave), Matt and Lucy joining me in trying not to drink or spend cash and it's always easier when those around you are doing the same.
The next day wasn't quite as successful, the only problem with areas like this is that when the weather's poor there's pretty nothing to do but drink. One lifesaver was in the form that Matt's friend had left his laptop wit us so we had a few films to watch but more importantly I had a chance to fill my iPhone with some different tunes after 3 months of listening to the same 80 tracks. Later as i took advantage of Domino's super Tuesday, Matt got a Maccas ad we went down to the beach for what he christened our 'Man date'. In our absence the girls must've got bored as by the time we got back they were very well on the way with jugs, obviously we had to join them and i met Aled and ''old Gary" for the first time with me now being "New Gary".
A few jugs were had at Beaches then we headed on down to Paddy Shenanigans for the rest of the night and it wasn't a bad spot at all really. A live band, good tunes, football on, four dollar pints and some amazingly odd locals. We did unfortunately get stuck into some rather nasty Tequila suicides - slam the shot, snort the salt and the squeeze the lemon right into the eye. The effect it has is that you don't register the Tequila but oh god the lines of salt were just nasty, i'd have lemon in the eye every day of the week before that one. From that one on it was all pretty random with everyone leaving one by one unannounced until all was left for Aled to fall asleep at the bar (maybe) and me to meet a guy who threatened to take a dump on the road. It happens.
Matt woke up the next day with a fucked up ankle to match my club foot so we headed to the doctors; 60 dollars to see him for 3 minutes and about another 45 for prescriptions. Hmmm i think i'll see how my foot goes thanks, at least the drugs made him exceedingly happy. Before all this happened the morning involved me stumbling out the room hanging like fuck to find Cara, Matt and Lucy playing with these parrot like birds. Next think you know and i've got one on each hand feeding them bread while being utterly, utterly confused by it all. Not quite your usual hangover experience With the rest heading off on their boat trip i finally booked my bus, got my camera back and then headed off to Magnetic Island......not before putting two massive moths in some dickheads wash bag though. I really do hold a grudge.
Song For The Day - The Boss showing them how it's done - Candys Room (Live'78)
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